Instructions

If you speak a foreign language fluently and communicate by correspondence with old acquaintances, then besides how not to get carried away, spending all your free and not very free time on correspondence, there is nothing to advise you. It is much more important to be careful and careful when communicating with unfamiliar foreigners on social networks or dating sites. Not that there were “enemies and spies around”, but there were enough dashing people at all times, especially since the Internet wherever you spit - Rockefellers and Angelina Jolie are everywhere, anonymity and arbitrary editing of user profiles favors all sorts of fraud. So, caution comes first. You do not need to send any personal data, real physical and incriminating photographs to the interlocutor. The same applies to discussions of personal status, whether it is health or financial situation: let the interlocutor first of all see a person in you, well, it will not hurt you to reveal yourself as a person, and not as a set of statuses.

Nevertheless, benevolence and unseen openness will not be superfluous at all. Russia, despite the popular stereotypes of bears, gypsies and samovars, is notorious for its unfriendliness. Corresponding with foreign acquaintances and friends is a good way to break these clichés. Above all, be polite and correct. Do not see malicious intent in those where everything is explained by bad acquaintance with our country and people. Don't overuse emoticons. Instead, try to convey your emotional response with the right words.

Conversations on general topics are best concretized, so it will be easier for both of you to establish contact, but not too deeply into them. The weather, art, specific humor, politics are easy to illustrate, but it is not always worthwhile to immediately show your attitude to a particular subject of conversation. You may adore hurricanes and want to talk about it, and the interested interlocutor suddenly turns out to be anemophobic! Or he adheres to the liberal-democratic views, while you are a convinced monarchist. Show interest in the worldview of the interlocutor, find out about his preferences, provide an opportunity to tell about yourself. The more complete the picture, the easier it will be for you to navigate and build a dialogue.

If you use the services of automatic translators during correspondence, do not forget that they are all too imperfect for full-fledged communication, especially if you do not speak a foreign language well and are unable to independently make adjustments to. In this case, write in the simplest and shortest sentences so that the software algorithms do not get confused in cases and turns. With a weak and average knowledge of a foreign language, try to compose letters and messages yourself, giving preference not to auto-translators, but to dictionaries.

Always remember the difference in cultural baggage and mentality. The friendliest foreigner may not understand and even be offended by some indirect quotations from Soviet comedies that are familiar to us. За вполне обычную для русского уха фразу «I worked like a nigger today and tired as hell! - "I worked today as a Negro, and I'm tired like damn!" in some regions of the United States, you can get a fine or even go to corrective community service. It will also look ridiculous in the eyes of the interlocutor and like "I'm not a coward, but I'm afraid" or "Ay-lo-lo later." Even the most advanced automatic translator (and the likelihood that your counterpart will also use them is high) will not be able to take into account the context you have set.

Strong feelings do not know the barriers - it should be clarified: everything except language. Love stories where couples met on dating sites, chat rooms and social networks are no longer surprising. And video calls made possible not only correspondence, but also online dating. Whatever one may say, it is almost impossible to recognize a man without live communication. What is his sense of humor, what is his hobby, what to strive for, do his life views coincide with yours? All this is not very clear if you cannot explain clearly.

What if you don't know the language well or don't know it at all?

Study, study and study again

The first thing to do is start learning. Of course, at first, tricks and online translators will help you, which will be discussed later, but if your intentions are serious, or you are planning to move to another country, you cannot do without knowledge of the language.

Concentrate on English - this is a relatively easy to learn international language, which all educated people now speak at a more or less decent level. Indeed, it won't surprise anyone if you don't speak Spanish or Hindi, but not knowing English can make a man wonder if you graduated from high school.

Taking on the study of any language, you should not buy mountains of textbooks and delve into the intricacies of grammar. The main task for the first time is to quickly increase the vocabulary and learn the general rules for constructing sentences.

Don't be shy or afraid of mistakes. Men communicate with women online not in order to assess their language skills. By the way, many people find the accent very cute, will gladly help you in difficult moments and learn Russian words with interest. In addition, if English is also not a native language for your interlocutor, mistakes will definitely not confuse anyone! If you don't really understand what your friend said, feel free to clarify or try to rephrase the sentence in a simpler way. This is much better than shaking your head vaguely or humming something inarticulate.

Online translators to help

But how do you communicate with a foreigner while you're at the basics learning stage? Fortunately, technical advances will come to the rescue here too. Use online translators: PROMT, Google, Yandex. Today these systems have made great strides forward, and their translation no longer resembles a set of inconsistent words.

The Google service also has a function that can be used as an online translator. This is Google Sheets. The interlocutors see two columns during the chat.

One participant writes text in his own language in one column, and the translated version appears in the other.

To use the service, register google account, open Google Sheets and choose File> Create Copy. A copy of the spreadsheet appears on your Google Drive. Set up editing access for your interlocutor, write the names in the appropriate cells and select the languages ​​you need.

Prepare in advance

You can use translators and dictionaries in advance. After all, a meeting can be not only virtual, but also real. It will be embarrassing to start with a frantic search for the desired phrase in the dictionary on your smartphone.

Before your date, write down a few ready-made phrases that you might find useful. Prepare questions you want to ask your friend. Think about the answers to the questions a man might ask you. Most likely, he will be interested in the same things as you: your work, life, hobbies. If you already have "intersection points" the task is simplified: people who are passionate about one subject will always find a way to discuss the subject of interest.

By the way, you should definitely learn a phrase that will come in handy in a real and virtual situation and will allow you to politely end the conversation if something goes wrong: “Sorry, I have to go,” or “They call me from work. It's a pity, but I have to go. "

If you do not like the interlocutor, you feel too insecure, or someone may interfere with your conversation, this phrase will help to interrupt the dialogue correctly and quickly.

Online dating: focus on visualization

What if your knowledge of the language is completely zero, and you have not yet mastered the translator, but you really want to communicate? Do not despair - of course, the language is of great importance, and therefore you need to start learning it as soon as possible, but still it was the only means of communication at the time of only one correspondence.

Online dating is great because you can see each other's faces, which means you can use non-verbal language. It's no secret that body language sometimes says a lot more than words. While learning a few simple phrases in the native language of your interlocutor - this attention will pleasantly surprise him. After all, you can draw or gesture with something that you want to explain! But most importantly - pay attention to your image and mood!

Put yourself in full order before the date, resist the temptation to stay in your pajama pants and worn-out slippers, thinking that he will not notice it on Skype anyway. Do your makeup, dress up, put on pretty lingerie. Let no one see him, you will feel confident and sexy, and men are very good at these things.

Set up a light that is bright enough for the other person to see your face, but not harsh, and smile. Most importantly, demonstrate goodwill, sincere interest and desire to communicate with your friend. If you feel embarrassed, look away, and remain silent for fear of making a mistake, your friend may think you want to end the conversation as soon as possible.

It is important to convey emotions, to let the man understand that you are really happy with his virtual and real society, and all difficulties are associated only with poor knowledge of the language, which means they are temporary.

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In most English-speaking countries, talking about "nothing" is normal and even necessary in certain situations. Light, unobtrusive conversation on casual topics "breaks the ice" in communication or fills in awkward silence between people.

Even though you may feel insecure and embarrassed about your knowledge of English, you shouldn't remain unapproachable. Just as it is certain time when small talk is appropriate, there are also certain topics that people often discuss during these moments. The hardest part of this non-binding communication is knowing how to start a conversation. Take another look at the list of phrases you can use to strike up a conversation, and practice them with a friend. Remember, in an English speaking environment it is often better to make a few mistakes than say nothing at all!

• WHO fills the time with conversations?

People use small talk in many different ways. The most common type is those who do not know each other at all. While we often teach children not to talk to strangers, adults will be polite to say at least a few words in certain situations. This is also common for people who have just met, such as friends of your friends. Another type of people who have to constantly maintain polite conversation on abstract topics are office workers, who may not be good friends but work in the same department. Sales managers, waitresses, hairdressers, and receptionists often try to get customers to talk.

• WHAT are people talking about?

There are certain "safe" topics that people usually chat about. The weather, obviously, is the number one topic that people who do not know each other calmly discuss. Sometimes even friends and family members discuss the weather when they meet or start a conversation. Another topic that is particularly safe is current events. As long as you are not trying to discuss a contentious political issue, it is usually safe to get the news out. Sports news is a very common topic, especially when a local team or player competes in a competition or playoff and scores a resounding victory or a disappointing defeat. News about the world of show business, gossip about celebrities can also be a great topic in a certain setting. If you and your interlocutor have something in common, or you find yourself in the same situation, you can talk about it. For example, if the bus is extremely full and there are no seats available, you could talk about the reasons why this is the case. Likewise, people in the office may casually discuss new design corporate stickers. There are also some things that are not considered acceptable in a conversation. Discuss personal information, such as the size of the salary or the recent divorce, is unacceptable between people who do not know each other well. Compliments about clothing or hair are acceptable; however, you should never say anything (good or bad) about the human body. Negative comments about another person not involved in the conversation are also unacceptable: when you don't know the person well, you cannot be sure who their friends really are. You don't talk about personal issues either, because you don't know if you can trust another person with your secrets or personal information. In addition, it is not safe to touch on topics that society considers controversial, such as religion or politics. Finally, it is not wise to continue talking about a problem that the other person is not happy with or is not interested in.

• WHERE do people talk?

People communicate almost everywhere, but there are certain places where it is very common. More often than not, small talk takes place in places where people are waiting for something. For example, you can chat with another person who is waiting for the bus, which should arrive any minute, or with a person waiting to board the plane. People also chat at the dentist's office or in lines at the grocery store. In offices, people communicate in elevators, canteens and even toilets, especially if there is a queue. Some events (parties, presentations) also require all guests who don't know each other very well to join in small talk. For example, you might talk to someone you don't know over a punch or by the pool. In English it is called “mingling” - “mixing”, “involvement”, when people are in a public environment and communicate with many people.

• WHEN do people talk?

The most common time for small talk is when you see or meet someone for the first time that day. For example, if you see a colleague at the gym, you might say hello and discuss sports or the weather. However, the next time you see each other, you just need to smile and say nothing. If there is a pause in the conversation, or communication has come to naught, this is definitely the right time to start a casual conversation. If someone is reading a book or typing a message at the bus stop, it is not very appropriate to start a conversation. Another good time to chat is a break during a meeting or a pause in a show when nothing important is happening. Finally, it is important to recognize the signal when the other person wants the conversation to pause.

• WHY do people talk?

There are several different reasons why people talk. The first and most obvious is the need to break the awkward silence. Another reason, however, is to pass the time. This is why small talk is so common when you are waiting for something. Some people communicate to be polite. You may not feel much like chatting with every guest at a party, but just sitting in a corner by yourself is impolite. After someone introduces you to other people but you don't know anything about them, you should start with a little conversation to show a polite interest in them and get to know them better.

• Phrases to start a conversation

Much has been written about the advantages of dating and communicating with foreigners, but very little about the other side of the coin, that not everything is as rosy as "foreign agents" paint. Today I would like to fill that gap and take a look at the "dark side of the moon". Not everything is as good as it might seem, and we must be prepared for the worst so as not to fall into the traps for suckers. So let's get started ;-)

1. People can lie about who they are.

The Internet allows a person to take any image he wants, p.e. unscrupulous foreigners can lie about their age, place of residence, level of English proficiency (especially Arabs and Indians sin: pretend to be unethical (native speakers) in order to communicate with Russian girls), family, financial situation and many other things, whoever has enough imagination. It is especially dangerous when you are a child or a teenager and you find yourself with an uncle who pretends to be the same age. P.E. when you are in correspondence, be sure to keep your parents informed: with whom and what you are corresponding with. If you are an adult and fall for such a foreigner, then it makes sense to play role-playing games with a person in the grip of fantasy is very dangerous.

2. Beggars

At first everything goes well, you communicate well with a pen pal, open your heart and soul, but then suddenly it turns out that your "friend" is a very poor and unhappy person, p.ch. he has few grannies (money). “Well, okay, poverty is not a vice,” you think. But then, suddenly it turns out that your friend is sick, or an aunt or a calf or a puppy, and he needs financial help, there is not enough money for medicine and just a little bit lieutenant Schmidt's children are just a little short of complete happiness. This is often the fault of the representatives of Nigeria, South Africa, Ukraine, Malaysia, China.

3. Deceitfulness of culture

We think in patterns, stereotypes and cultural stereotypes are very strong. The syndrome "we don't do it this way" projected on the expected, expected behavior of a foreigner can lead to oh-oh-oh what disastrous consequences. Each culture has its own characteristics. Suppose a person from the East, expressing his thoughts, will say that he will get a star from the sky and devour himself and bite off his ******, etc. etc., (probably already met such in offline?). I think many readers are familiar with this, the people of the North are more restrained in their emotions - they will say the same thing, but much more restrained or will not say anything at all, but will do.

Therefore, when communicating with foreigners, you do not need to take everything at once on a word, perhaps, he says one thing, but it can mean something completely different. Those. he can be courteous, courteous, polite and may seem like a very good man, but with further communication, you can stumble upon a cold wall, "personal space", prudence.

Western culture is distinguished by its commercialism, clear boundaries of communication, admission - "friendship is friendship, and tobacco apart", that is. a number with a shirt-guy will not work.

Recently, I received the following letter from a complete stranger to me:

"Hello Dear,

My name is ************ Native of American, Caucasian, Heterosexual, Female, located in Baltimore, Maryland United States. Christian by religion. I "m a full time Student and I" m majoring in marketing and getting a minor in International financing. I never smoke and drink. can i know you more better, Get in touch at ***********@yahoo.com Your With Love, Juliet Rawmos "

It would seem that she called me dear, at the end she wrote "with love", different thoughts can rush through my head, but it must be borne in mind that in her culture these expressions are not given the same meaning as in ours. For example, in our country this word can have many meanings and shades. "Hey, dear" is more with a pretense or, for example, "Dear, dear, fly in, buy", and "Dear," is an appeal to a loved one, not a stranger, etc. I think you yourself can continue this list.

4. Fraud, scam

Considering that the ideas of Ivanushka the Fool are firmly in our people, fraud through correspondence occupies a significant place in Russia and in the countries of the former socialist camp, and a lot of honest people suffer from this. This underwater rock also resonates with cultural perceptions. I think very few of those who are actively looking for communication with foreigners, registering on all possible foreign dating sites have never received letters like the one I quoted above or that you are the heir to some prince and you have a lot of money in the African bank or you are asked to help the relatives of the millionaire and other "children of Lieutenant Schmidt".

5. Blackmail

You start to share about your life, "this is a friend," you trust more and more, pour out your personal secrets and hop, they begin to blackmail you. Nowadays, blackmail with the help of an intimate video is popular, when a partner provokes you to undress and other sensual actions in front of the camera, and then demands money so that you do not become a YouTube star.

6. Slavery

You can be sold into slavery! Your "pen pal" might be a slave trader! What should alert you? An offer to come abroad, and all your expenses will be paid, an interesting job (on the job)). It is also often offered to earn some money in some hotel, hotel with an offer to buy tickets at the expense of the company, apply for a visa, meet. All this may seem attractive, but no one just gives anything, so any offers of help should always be checked for "scammers" and slavery.

7. Bullying, rape

There are a lot of perverts in the world. Personal meetings are especially dangerous, the proposal will meet in some park, far from human eyes. Evil people also do not sleep and use correspondence services to find a victim.

8. Involvement in a totalitarian sect

For example, in Russia Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, Hare Krishnas, Charismatics are especially active. You will be smiled, taken care of, "loved", but as long as there is hope to involve you in their sect and to subordinate your mind, will, body, family to the organization, to take possession of your property. Do not give them your phone, otherwise they will not lag behind.

9. Recruiting for espionage

You can be recruited by foreign intelligence to spy on your home state. You may be offered a good reward, but at home you will be quickly dressed in bracelets, etc. even the pros are scorching. Well, in general, selling your homeland is bad.

10. Abduction

Yes, yes, yes ... They may well ... Do not go to the meeting alone ... Someone should be nearby for safety net. This is especially true for girls. Never go to an apartment, house to a person whom you only know on the Internet.

• Never give your exact home address! For postal items by regular mail, use a PO Box.
• Never give data: SNILS, passports, credit card numbers, driver's license, diplomas and other documents.
• Cut off all contact with the person immediately if you suspect that something is amiss.

The dangers of international marriage

“The fish seeks where it is deeper, and where the man is better” (folk wisdom).

And that's okay! It's okay to look for better living conditions, better job, city, communication ...

But ... we don't know which is better. Yes, the problem is that we don't always know what will benefit us.

But how do we know, at least approximately, what awaits us in the future?

There are different ways to do this, but the surest one is experience. It is impossible to argue with experience, it is impossible to dispute someone's personal experience, adventure, because this person has experienced on himself.

Experience can be one's own, and sometimes someone else's. ”A clever learns from the mistakes of others, and a fool learns from his own” (folk wisdom).

Therefore, it is better to learn from the mistakes of others, it is more profitable)).
Why does a Russian want to meet a foreigner?

Usually to get something. It can be a variety of things - gifts, the opportunity to learn a foreign language, get married ... Today our topic is about the latter.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to get married, getting married. This is how we were created to find our soul mate, to acquire integrity (1 + 0 = 10).

But our biggest mistake is that we are going to go out, give our life, our youth to just anyone, just because he / she is a foreigner!

And we expect, we hope that now, we will marry him and we will have everything that he has - money, a hut, a foreign car, and we will not work and will enjoy it all. But we forget about the identity of the other side.

And what does the other side - a foreigner - expect?

What is a Russian woman in the eyes of a foreigner? - about the same as in your eyes a migrant gastrobeiter.

Satisfy his all voluptuous, wild fantasies ("machine for intercourse"), housekeeper, cook, maid, woman who will endure everything, forced, deprived of the right to vote ... not the end of the list .. - all this can be summed up in one word - "slave ".

At first, a foreigner does not show it, he looks after, gives gifts, but when you find yourself in a “foreign” territory (... did you think that this was your territory?), When you live with him every day, then all this will manifest ...

Because in most cases, in the eyes of a European, an American, we are savages, the lower class.

Of course, not all foreigners are so bad, sometimes they are sincere, good guys, girls, but this is very rare.